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Everything You Did and Didn't Wanna Know About the Author
Picture Page its Picture Page...
What's New-Gasperilla and Superbowl XXXV
The Pewter Power Page
Gatorbait
Poems r Us
Welcome to Santino's Apartment
The Say Hey Page
Yo Quiero Links
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It's Too Damn Hot Outside...Its F%@#ing December and Rudolph Could Still Wear His T-Back to the Beach
December has arrived and I can still make my way down to the beach for a good tan. Pretty sad huh? Anyways December is a great time, gotta love Christmas. December also means the Year in Review. Basically it went something like this: Spent the first few months of the year getting some play but not really happy. Stats the first time around sucked, as did Daytona trips prior to May. Turned 20 in March and started the countdown for 21! (Only 93 days from today till March 3, 2002). I got fired from Busch Gardens after a few failed attempts at love. Then over the summer I not only got an A in stats, but I also found me a hunny. (And to answer your question, she will put your pecker on life support. Yup she's that good!). We got to watch those terrorist fucks try and ruin our country. Instead, we ruined their's. The world lost a great person, Becca. You will be missed. Thanksgiving made me fat, Christmas is on the way and I finally got 2 girls and me to... =)
Now, for this years props to and to hells with...
Props to:Hot band chicks blowing big horns, Rudy Guliani, George W, NYPD & NYFD,the naughty nurses of SFCC, Duralex condoms,American military might and the missles that find their way to your towel covered head, her dog sucks but Ashley is ok, "3somes with sugah", the University of Colorado and Oklahoma State football programs,anything Beatles,Florida Gator athletics,my fish, troumbones, the ladies of Apt 333,Alpha Plasma Center,Soulfound,and still loving those camaros.
To hell with: Terrorists,Infectous people and the girls that use them, anyone who thinks Creed is a good band, Geberal Motors for not having intrest free financing on new corvettes,Busch Gardens,Daytona trips for spring break,numerous females that I dated prior to July 13, the Philadelphia Eagles,Guthries employees, RTS, Flat tires on I75 that rip away half of your car, theives at Jesuit,Tri-Delts and ADPI's, shaving dream, Lisa's dipshit moron, yeast infections before your girlfriend's period, old ATM cards, Bailey still sucks, the St Louis Ram me in the Asses, the Florida State Halfinoles,University Ave at 5 pm on weekdays, any Gainesville road heading to the University on gamedays, traffic heading away from UF after gamedays, the Auburn Tiggers for trying to fuck us,Tennessee Vols for fucking us,and those anti-war dumbasses(War can work, Japan and Gernmany are now our friends!)
This years Honorary Props to: Bob Dole for STILL keeping it up, even after having married Elizabeth!
This years Honorary To hell with: Those September 11 fucks. He you fucking towelheads, didn't Bin Laden take the time from sucking Mulah Omar Mohammed's taliban dick to explain that the Pentagon has five sides. Hopefully your 70 virgins in Heaven include:
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Whats New Around the G-Spot!
Well kids and kiddies, it looks as though semester 7 has come to a close, time to recap. What have we learned?
1)Tequilla, Rum, Vodka, and Bud Lite DO NOT play well together!
2)Just when you think your job can't get any worse, it will!
3)If you can hear the neighbors getting it on, then there is a pretty good chance that they can hear you getting it on too: whether thats with your hand or a significant other =P
4)People can't drive well here either!
5)Beer will make you fat, liquor is healthier!
6)When you're bored with nothing to do, remeber wal-mart is open 24 hours a day!
7)None of my math teachers have spoken English
8)If you're ever late, you can always count on getting stuck behind the damn 20 bus!
9)After every hangover, you swear you wont drink again...until the next time!
10)Gainesville is home to the world's largest collection of cows and kegs!
11)Never ask for directions from a sorority chick
12)The bartenders always know when your not legal...and they probably don't care either
13)Being drunk and attempting to run a race usually don't go hand in hand!
14)Being drunk and attempting to shoot pool usually do go hand in hand!
15)No matter where you go, the service at Denny's will always suck!
16)Alcohol can lead to birth at parties
17)Christmas in Florida feels the same way as the Fourth of July sometimes
18)Light beer wont make you as fat as fast
19)All condoms are created equal
20)Never assume sweet, country gals are as innocent as they may seem.
21)Thongs should not be worn by all women, but rather determined on an ass by ass basis.
22)Fish die often
23)Food you never thought could mold will if left unattended for long periods of time in the fridge or the sink
24)Never take a class before 930, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO YOU WONT GO!
25)Ashley will never quit smoking |
If y ant a Gator, you gotta be Gatorbait!(Unless you are Tennessee or Auburn) |
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Translator Position Available at Prestigious Florida University!
Do you speak Bowdenese? If so, this position maybe be for you. Due to a difficulty in comprehending terms such as dog gummitt, gosh dangit son, and other sophistacted expressions, Coach Bowden has requested the services of such an individual. Requirements for this position are simple:por grammar, a lack of speaking clarity, and three brain cells. Visit your local dillards or call 1-800-UF5-220. Burt Reynolds, Pee Wee, and Richard Simmons are standing by! |
We Finally beat those TallahASSee fucks, 37-13 |
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See, You Were Wrong About Alabama!
Alabama fans always fall prey to stereotyping. One such stereotype disgusted me so much that I had to speak out against it with this pic. I have always heard that nightlife in Alabama sucks cuz all there is to date is cows! These Tide fan shows us all that this is far from the truth as he and anabelle roll away into the night! Roll Tide Roll!(On your way, stop by Rocky Top and piss off a few Vols) |
Ever wonder what roll tide roll means? |
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